A Very Deep Blue (Part 2)

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I was going to write a continuation of my last post on my current situation – it’s been just over two weeks since I wrote that post and if things don’t feel as if they have got any easier, I’m at least on a little bit more of a solid standing in regards to my emotional well-being. It’s not a battle that I’m particularly enjoying engaging with but it’s not like I’ve got a lot of choice in the matter. That said, firstly I want to thank all of you that have reached out to me with words of support and kindness. Honestly, it has meant the world to me that you would take the time out to do so, and in the absence of some of the pillars that I’ve traditionally relied upon to deal with and get through periods of anxiety and stress, any offers of additional support are greatly appreciated. Perhaps the worst of what I have been feeling is the isolation and loneliness and knowing that there are good people out there that are thinking of you helps immensely. The last couple of weeks have been spent with much rumination, much reading and countless thoughts on how I might be able to drag myself through this. I don’t have any particular revelations to share, other than the fact that listening to the latest Father John Misty album on constant repeat may not be a great way of moving forward at the moment (It’s a great album, but as a friend of mine so pointedly reacted when I told him what music I had been listening to and he checked it out for himself “bloody hell!”, yeah, Father John Misty knows what I’m going through). The only conclusions I’ve come to is that it will take time and support – the reading has at least been somewhat enlightening – I have to say I’m surprised how often graphic designers are mentioned in the literature  when it comes to mental health issues – so, I’m not really alone I guess? I may also suffer from something called HSP (Highly Sensitive Person! – most likely) and early onset male menopause? (I personally think that one maybe bullshit. In the short-term, like Austin Powers – I’m just hoping to get some of my ‘mojo’ back – in the emotional sense – maybe not so much the physical. Writing some of these things out has certainly helped, at least a little bit. Writing has always been an outlet that I know I’m not very good at, or in fact feel I need to be good at – so it holds no real preconceived notions in my mind that it needs to be perfect, or at least competent, as opposed to the hold my anxiety has over me in my efforts to be  a designer or even on the most basic level of  being able to maintain significant relationships. I wish I could be stronger through all this. Anyway, my thanks to everyone who has ever taken the time to read any of my posts on here, not just my pity party of this and the last. Comments, advice or just a note to introduce yourself are always welcomed and encouraged. While I’m working through my issues I’m also trying to work through what the future may hold for Facing Sideways and myself as a designer, it may be the case I’m not cut out for any of this. I the meantime, I share below The Hues Corporation performing their 1970s hit ‘Rock The Boat’, because I defy anyone not to smile (even myself at the moment!) over this overtly enthusiastic performance.

 

1 comment
  1. Hellen Kiprizloglou said:

    Hi Chris I understand how debilitating this can be… I personally have suffered from situational depression and anxiety Although I feel I have it under control..it does creep up at unexpected times – and everything and everyone I love suffers along with it.

    All I can say is that you are doing great and good on you for being able to share your thoughts with us. It is hard to talk about…and for that I am grateful for you to share this.

    Keep smiling and keep doing the best you can Thinking of you.

    Warmest regards

    Hellen Kiprizloglou Director

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    From: Facing Sideways <comment-reply@wordpress.com> Reply-To: Facing Sideways <comment+cit6t12q3z_gm_3p27hvzb@comment.wordpress.com> Date: Friday, 13 July 2018 at 9:20 AM To: Hellen Kiprizloglou <hellen@pranastudios.com.au> Subject: [New post] A Very Deep Blue (Part 2)

    Chris Bowden posted: ” I was going to write a continuation of my last post on my current situation – it’s been just over two weeks since I wrote that post and if things don’t feel as if they have got any easier, I’m at least on a little bit more of a solid standing in regards”

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